*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke Tee

Unethical Threads made the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke tee because some of you love that silver can more than most people in your life, and you're not even a little sorry about it. This is the shirt that says what your search history already confirmed.

Who actually wears this?

Diet Coke people. You know exactly who they are.

They have a mini fridge at their desk, they have strong opinions about fountain vs. can, and they would absolutely commit a minor felony for a cold one at the right moment. If you see the phrase "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke" and think yeah, that tracks, this shirt was made for you.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a see-through tissue from the clearance bin
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (everyone gets to broadcast their Diet Coke commitment)
• Crew neck, because we're chaotic, not tacky
• DTG (direct-to-garment) printed, so the colors stay loud even after your twentieth wash
• Pre-shrunk. What you order is what shows up

Is this a good gift?

It's the perfect gift for anyone whose personality is basically just Diet Coke at this point.

They exist, you know one, and you might be one. Just make sure the recipient has a sense of humor, because we are not fielding calls from your aunt who didn't think it was funny.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

No. We use DTG printing, which bonds the ink directly into the fabric. It stays vibrant through repeated washes.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

That depends entirely on your definition of appropriate. We've seen people wear it to brunch, the office, and family gatherings. Results vary.

Can I return it if my family doesn't think it's funny?

Your family's sense of humor is not our department. But yes, check our return policy page for the full details.