I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Dr. Pepper Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Dr. Pepper Tee is Unethical Threads at peak specificity. You know exactly how you feel about that 23-flavor masterpiece. This shirt just removes the ambiguity.

Who actually wears this?

Diet Dr. Pepper loyalists who've been waiting for their personality to become a shirt.

The kind of person who gets genuinely offended when a restaurant says "Is Pepsi okay?" If your fridge has a dedicated Dr. Pepper shelf, congratulations, we made this for you. Everyone else can keep scrolling.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your weekly Diet Dr. Pepper habit (it doesn't)
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after you've alienated your coworkers
• Pre-shrunk fabric, so no surprise crop tops after the first wash

Is this a good gift for a Diet Dr. Pepper person?

Yes, and you already have someone in mind.

This is the shirt for the friend who will not shut up about how Diet Dr. Pepper is the best soda ever made. Birthday, holiday, random Tuesday. They'll wear it immediately and text you a photo. You will receive no formal thank you card, just a selfie in the tee. That's better.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually about dropkicking children?

No. It's about Diet Dr. Pepper. The child is hypothetical. The soda addiction is very real.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade after washing?

DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Wash inside out on cold if you want to baby it, but it holds up either way.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

Depends entirely on your definition of appropriate. We'd wear it to brunch, the grocery store, and a PTA meeting.