*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A High Noon Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A High Noon tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone whose love of sun-soaked canned cocktails borders on felony territory. You know who you are. This is your flag, and you're planting it.

Who actually wears this?

People who bring a cooler to events that don't require coolers. The High Noon faithful who've made "it's a seltzer, not a beer" their entire personality. If you've ever chosen a drink over basic human decency (even hypothetically), this shirt fits your energy perfectly.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because devotion to High Noon comes in all sizes
• Classic crew neck. Nothing fancy. The graphic does the talking.
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print that keeps its color wash after wash without cracking or peeling
• Pre-shrunk, so what you order is what you get

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a perfect gift. If someone in your life has ever threatened a minor over a canned cocktail (verbally, obviously), you now know exactly what to get them. Birthdays, white elephants, "I saw this and immediately thought of you" moments. This is the kind of shirt that makes people say "where did you get that," which is really the highest compliment a piece of clothing can receive.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit. If you're between sizes, check the size chart, but most people find their usual size works fine.

Will the print crack or fade?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers, so the design holds up through the wash without cracking or peeling.

Is this about the High Noon drink?

If you know, you know.

Can I actually wear this in public?

You can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is between you and whatever's left of your social filter.