*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Rumple Minze Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Rumple Minze tee is exactly what it sounds like. Unethical Threads made this for the person in every friend group who has genuinely said this sentence out loud after three shots of Rumple. If you know, you know.

Who actually wears this?

People who order Rumple Minze on purpose. Not by accident, not because someone else was buying rounds. On purpose.

This is the shirt for the friend who treats peppermint schnapps like a personality trait, and honestly? They're not wrong. If your go-to bar order makes the bartender sigh, you just found your uniform.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels substantial, not like a free promo tee
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S to 4XL
• Classic crew neck, pre-shrunk
• DTG printed (ink in the fabric, not on top), so colors stay vivid wash after wash
• Pairs well with Rumple Minze, bad decisions, and a total lack of shame

Is this a good gift?

It might be the best gift you ever give someone.

This is the shirt you hand to your friend who just ordered their fourth Rumple Minze and said something that made the whole table go quiet. Not for the office Secret Santa (unless your office is actually fun). Get it for the friend who already owns the reputation. They'll wear it every weekend.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so it's comfortable without being baggy. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?

No. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is part of the fabric. It holds up wash after wash.

Is this actually about Rumple Minze?

Yes. This is for people who love Rumple Minze and have absolutely no shame about it.

Can I wear this in public?

Technically, yes. Whether you should depends on how you feel about strangers reading your shirt and making snap judgments about your character.

What's the return policy?

Returns accepted within 30 days of delivery. Shirt must be unworn and unwashed. Check our returns page for the full details.