*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Starbucks Coffee Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Starbucks Coffee tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone whose caffeine dependency has entered felony territory. If your morning coffee is less a preference and more a hostage situation, this shirt says what your face already does in the drive-through line.

Who actually wears this?

People who aren't pretending to be nice before 9 AM. Your coworker who passive-aggressively labels their oat milk. The friend who once cried in a drive-through because they were out of pumpkin spice.

You already know who you're buying this for, and it might be yourself.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle your third rage-wash of the week
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because caffeine addiction doesn't discriminate by body type
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed so the colors stay as vivid as your hatred for decaf
• Pre-shrunk. Your patience is already short enough.

Is this a good gift?

It's the best gift. Anyone who has ever whispered threats at a barista who got their order wrong will wear this with their whole chest. Birthday, Christmas, "sorry I was mean before my latte" apology present. All valid reasons.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt going to offend someone?

Probably. But the people who get it will love you for it, and the people who don't were never your crowd anyway.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.

Will the print hold up in the wash?

Yes. DTG printing locks the colors in. Wash it normally and it stays looking sharp.

Is this affiliated with Starbucks?

No. This is an Unethical Threads original. We just understand the level of commitment involved.

Can I actually wear this to Starbucks?

You can and you should. The baristas have seen worse.