*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Sugarfree Red Bull Tee

Unethical Threads made the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Sugarfree Red Bull tee because some of you asked for it and we're not in the business of saying no to caffeine addicts. It says exactly what you think it says. You either get it or you're drinking water.

Who actually wears this?

People who have replaced meals with energy drinks and aren't sorry about it.

The Sugarfree Red Bull crowd is a specific breed. You've got the gym person who treats it as pre-workout, the office worker who's three cans deep by noon, and the night shift warrior who genuinely cannot function without one. This shirt is their uniform.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't finish
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL, because caffeine addiction doesn't discriminate
• Crew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors stay put wash after wash
• Preshrunk, because nobody wants a shirt that slowly ghosts them

Is this going to offend someone?

Yes. That's kind of the whole point.

If you're worried about reactions at the grocery store, this probably isn't your shirt. But the people who laugh at it are the only ones worth talking to. Buy it for yourself, buy it for the friend who pounds three Sugarfree Red Bulls before 10 a.m. Either way, it lands.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt shrink?

It's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it'll stay true to size.

Is the print going to crack or fade?

No. We use DTG printing, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric. It holds up wash after wash.

What sizes do you carry?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Is this an official Red Bull product?

No. This is a parody humor tee from Unethical Threads. We're not affiliated with Red Bull in any way.

Can I wear this to the gym?

You can wear it wherever you want. That's the beauty of owning clothes.