*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Vanilla Coke Tee

Unethical Threads made a shirt that says I Would Dropkick A Child For A Vanilla Coke, because apparently that's a sentiment enough people share to justify a production run. Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, available S through 4XL.

Who actually wears this?

People who know exactly what Vanilla Coke tastes like and would not share one under any circumstances. Soda loyalists, agents of chaos at family barbecues, the friend who has a ranking of every fast food fountain and will tell you about it unprompted. If that sounds like you or someone you tolerate, this is the shirt.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like an actual garment, not a napkin someone screenprinted
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print so the colors don't bail after three washes
• Machine washable. Cold water, inside out. You know the drill.

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a perfect gift for anyone whose Vanilla Coke preference has become their whole personality. Hand it to a coworker and you'll learn everything you need to know about them in about two seconds. Also works for white elephants, birthdays, or any occasion where you want someone to open a box and immediately say "oh my god."

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt really say "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Vanilla Coke"?

Yes. Every word. No asterisks, no fine print. The whole sentence is right there on your chest.

What sizes do you carry?

S through 4XL, all in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print hold up in the wash?

It's DTG printed, meaning the ink is in the fabric, not sitting on top of it. Wash cold, inside out, and it stays crisp.

Is this a limited edition?

We restock based on demand, but colorways can sell out and not come back. If you want it, don't overthink it.

Can I wear this around kids?

We're not your parents. But technically, yes, cotton is appropriate for all climates.