Nice Legs What Time Do They Open Tee

The Nice Legs What Time Do They Open tee is Unethical Threads at peak shamelessness. It's the pickup line your uncle definitely used in 1987, printed on heavyweight cotton so you can wear his worst impulse on purpose. Available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL.

Who actually wears this?

People who know the line is terrible and that's the entire point.

You're not trying to pick anyone up. You're announcing to the room that you have the sense of humor of a 1970s trucker hat and you're completely at peace with it. It's self-aware comedy, not a dating strategy.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a disposable promotional tee
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL (yes, big guys get to be inappropriate too)
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not cracking off after three washes
• Available in black or white

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a phenomenal gift for the right person and an HR violation for the wrong one.

If someone in your life collects terrible pickup lines or has the kind of humor that clears a room on Thanksgiving, this is their shirt. If you're unsure whether they'd laugh, they won't. Trust your gut.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?
Yes. Unisex relaxed fit, so it's not tight. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly to the fabric, so the design stays sharp through heavy rotation.

Is this shirt available in other colors?
It comes in black or white. Pick whichever matches your level of audacity.

Can I wear this to work?
That depends entirely on where you work and how much you like working there.

What's it made of?
Heavyweight cotton. Feels substantial, not flimsy.