No You Don't Miss Him You Are Just Ovulating Tee

The No You Don't Miss Him You Are Just Ovulating Tee from Unethical Threads is the intervention your group chat has been trying to stage. It's hormones, not heartbreak. This graphic tee says what your best friend is thinking every time you hover over his contact.

Who's Actually Buying This?

Women with self-awareness, their long-suffering best friends, and couples who survived the talking stage buying it as a victory lap.

If you've ever had to physically remove a phone from someone's hand at 2 AM while they drafted an "I just miss talking to you" text, this shirt was designed with you in mind. It's a wearable PSA for everyone in your life who needs to hear it. Consider it a public service.

• Heavyweight cotton. Not the tissue-paper kind that goes see-through after one wash.
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL.
• Crew neck, because you don't need a V-neck to make this point.
• DTG printed so the text stays sharp without cracking or peeling.
• Available in black or white.

Does This Work as a Gift?

It's the perfect gift for anyone who needs the truth but won't listen to you say it out loud.

Breakup care packages, bachelorette parties, birthday gifts for the friend who keeps going back. If verbal communication has failed, try textile. Fair warning: they will wear it to brunch.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?
Sizes S through 4XL. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will this shirt shrink?
It's heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and it keeps its shape.

Does the print crack or peel?
No. It's DTG printed, so the ink bonds to the fabric instead of sitting on top of it.

What colors is this available in?
Black or white.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?
Define appropriate. The words on this shirt are scientifically accurate. What people do with that information is not our department.