Nobody Knows I'm A Lesbian Tee

The Nobody Knows I'm A Lesbian tee from Unethical Threads is the least subtle closet exit in fashion history. Available in black or white, it says the quiet part loud so you don't have to. Peak ironic LGBTQ humor on heavyweight cotton.

Who Actually Wears This?

Lesbians with a sense of humor. Also people who aren't lesbians but think this is the funniest possible thing to wear to Thanksgiving dinner.

This shirt works whether you're making an announcement or making a point. Either way, it eliminates small talk. Nobody's asking about your job when you walk in wearing this.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because funny comes in every size
• Classic crew neck (you're here for the joke, not the fashion innovation)
• DTG printed so the text stays crisp through every wash, not just the first three
• Available in black or white

Will This Offend Someone?

Almost certainly. That's sort of the point around here.

If you're buying from Unethical Threads, you already know what you signed up for. This one's actually pretty tame by our standards. It's a joke about identity, not an attack on it. Most people laugh. The ones who don't were never going to be fun at the party anyway.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually for lesbians?

It's for anyone who thinks the joke is funny. Lesbians, allies, people who just enjoy confusing strangers. No ID check required.

What sizes does the Nobody Knows I'm A Lesbian tee come in?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Does the print fade after washing?

DTG printing holds up through regular washing. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and skip the dryer if you want it looking fresh the longest.

Can I wear this to work?

That depends entirely on your workplace and your tolerance for HR conversations. We sell the shirt, not the legal advice.