Pete's Diner Eating Ass Since '69 Tee

Pete's Diner Eating Ass Since '69 is an Unethical Threads original for anyone who likes their humor filthy and their diners fictional. It's a retro diner tee with a menu item you won't find on Yelp. If you have to ask what's funny, this one isn't for you.

Who actually wears this?

People who've already made peace with the fact that not everyone is going to like them.

Your friend who orders the weirdest thing on every menu. The guy at the cookout who somehow makes grandma laugh and your aunt clutch her pearls in the same sentence. Basically, anyone who treats other people's discomfort as a spectator sport.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense
• Unisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL (Pete's doesn't discriminate)
• Crew neck, because some things don't need reinventing
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after the novelty should've worn off
• Machine washable. We're not monsters.

Is this a good gift?

It's the best gift for someone you actually know.

Not your coworker you've spoken to three times. Not your girlfriend's dad (unless he's cool, and be honest, he's probably not). But your best friend, your sibling who shares your sense of humor, the person who sends you memes at 2 AM? They'll love it. Just don't wrap it. Hand it over and watch their face.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Pete's Diner a real place?

Pete's Diner is entirely fictional. The joke is the menu, not the location. No actual diners were harmed in the making of this tee.

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade after washing?

The DTG printing process bonds ink directly to the fabric fibers. It holds up wash after wash without cracking or peeling.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

Define "appropriate." You can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is between you and your comfort level with strangers reading your chest.

What's the return policy?

We handle returns and exchanges on a case-by-case basis. Reach out to us if something's off and we'll sort it out.