Physical Touch Is My Love Language So Grab My Neck Tee

The Physical Touch Is My Love Language So Grab My Neck Tee from Unethical Threads takes the five love languages and sends them straight to horny jail. Heavyweight cotton, available in black or white, and it says what your dating profile legally cannot.

Who's Actually Wearing This?

People who took the love language quiz and chose violence. Your partner who thinks quality time is too vanilla, the friend who overshares at brunch, anyone who read the five love languages and thought "this needs a sixth option." It works as a personality test you can wear.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a screen-printing afterthought
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL
• Crew neck (ironic, considering the subject matter)
• DTG printed so the design won't crack, peel, or quietly disappear after a few washes
• Available in black or white

Does This Work as a Gift?

Yes, and it's funnier than a candle. If you know someone well enough to buy this for them, you already know it'll land. Valentine's Day, anniversary, or "I saw this and thought of you" energy. Just maybe don't hand it over at a family gathering.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Physical Touch Is My Love Language So Grab My Neck Tee come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.

Will the print crack or peel?
No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers, so it holds up wash after wash.

Is this going to offend someone?
Almost certainly. That's a feature, not a bug.

What's the shirt made of?
Heavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable for all-day wear, inappropriate for most settings.

Does it come in other colors?
Black or white. Pick your fighter.