Pizza Doesn't Complain When I Finish In 2 Minutes Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Pizza Doesn't Complain When I Finish In 2 Minutes tee from Unethical Threads is a back print graphic shirt that lets your pizza do the emotional heavy lifting your love life can't. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who've accepted that their most stable relationship involves a cardboard box. You know who you are.

This is for the person who orders delivery at 11 PM and feels more seen by the Domino's tracker than by anyone they've dated. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so everyone walking behind you gets the full confession while you're blissfully unaware, probably thinking about garlic knots.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually survives the wash (unlike your last situationship)
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because we do have some standards
• DTG print that holds its color longer than you hold eye contact
• Back print design, so the people behind you in line know exactly what they're dealing with

Is This a Good Gift?

It's the perfect gift for someone who can laugh at themselves. Which is a requirement, not a suggestion.

Birthday, holiday, gag gift, "I saw this and thought of you" energy. If your friend, partner, or coworker has ever made a self-deprecating joke about their performance (in anything, really), this shirt handles the rest. Pair it with an actual pizza and you're basically a hero.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt shrink?
Follow the care label and it won't. Wash cold, tumble dry low. It's not complicated.

What sizes do you carry?
S through 4XL. The fit is unisex and relaxed, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Is the design on the front or the back?
The back. The front is blank, so you look normal until you walk away.

Will people be offended?
Some people, yes. But those people weren't going to like you anyway.

How should I wash it?
Cold wash, tumble dry low, inside out if you want to baby it. The DTG print holds up well with basic care.