Professional Wiener Flutist Tee

The Professional Wiener Flutist tee from Unethical Threads. It's a credential, not a confession. Available in black or white on heavyweight cotton, for anyone who takes their craft very, very seriously.

Who actually wears this?

People with a very specific sense of humor and zero interest in explaining themselves.

Band kids who grew up wrong, musicians with a grudge, and the person at the party who introduces themselves with a title that is technically, legally accurate. If you've ever put something on your resume that made a recruiter pause and reread, you already own this shirt in spirit.

• Heavyweight cotton that holds its shape (this is professional-grade, after all)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck, because professional attire demands a professional neckline
• DTG printed for color that lasts longer than your dignity
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift for someone with the right sense of humor and a terrible LinkedIn headline.

This is the shirt you give to the friend who peaked in marching band, the coworker who says the quiet part loud, or anyone who genuinely does not care what HR thinks. If the recipient needs it explained, pick a different shirt.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does "Professional Wiener Flutist" mean?

Exactly what it says. It's a very specific, very serious job title. If you need it explained, this shirt isn't for you.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, comfortable on everyone.

Will this shirt shrink?

It's heavyweight cotton. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it'll hold up fine.

Is this appropriate for work?

That depends entirely on where you work and how much you like your job.

Does it come in other colors?

Black or white. Keep it classic.