Shhh No One Needs To Know Pineapple Pizza Tee

The Shhh No One Needs To Know Pineapple Pizza Tee from Unethical Threads turns the internet's oldest food fight into a forbidden affair. A cartoon pizza slice and a pineapple, caught in the act, hoping nobody finds out. Available in black or white.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's ever typed "pineapple on pizza" into a group chat and watched it devolve. Pineapple pizza people buy it as a confession. Anti-pineapple people buy it to be sarcastic. Both groups think they're the funny ones.

The illustration is the whole point. This isn't just block text slapped on cotton. It's a full cartoon scene of a pizza slice and a pineapple in a situation that would get flagged on a cooking show. You've seen the text-only versions floating around. This one has an actual story.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after one wash
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because pizza doesn't discriminate by body type
• Crew neck, because V-necks have no place in food discourse
• DTG printed so the cartoon stays crisp, not cracked and peeling like a gas station bumper sticker
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift for anyone who has an opinion about pineapple on pizza (so, everyone). Works for birthdays, white elephants, or passive-aggressively settling an argument about toppings. Sizing runs S through 4XL, so you don't need to interrogate anyone about their measurements. When in doubt, size up.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the print fade or crack after washing?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the cartoon holds up through repeat washes without cracking, peeling, or fading.

What sizes does the pineapple pizza shirt come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit that runs true to size.

What colors is this shirt available in?
Black or white. Pick whichever matches your stance on the pineapple pizza debate.

Is the design on the front or back?
Front. The back is blank, because the pineapple and pizza need their privacy.

Is this shirt actually soft?
It's heavyweight cotton with real substance. Not flimsy, not stiff. Comfortable enough for all-day wear.