Some People Need Closure I Need A Butthole Shaped Apology Tee

The Some People Need Closure I Need A Butthole Shaped Apology tee is Unethical Threads at peak pettiness. For everyone who's moved past the healing stage and landed squarely on wanting an apology of a very specific shape. Available in black or white.

Who actually wears this?

People who've been through a breakup so bad that "closure" became a punchline.

Your friend who sends unhinged texts to the group chat at 2 AM. The coworker who overshares about their ex during standup. If you've ever wanted an apology that's less "I'm sorry" and more anatomically creative, this shirt says what you're thinking so you don't have to.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed so the design holds up through regular washing
• Somehow both deeply inappropriate and emotionally honest

Is this a good breakup gift?

It's the best breakup gift.

Forget the self-help books and sad wine. This is what your recently dumped friend actually wants to wear while aggressively deleting photos off their phone. It's also a solid pick for anyone who treats emotional damage like a personality trait. Or just buy it for yourself. You've earned it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Plenty of room for your emotional baggage.

Will this shirt shrink?
Follow the care instructions and it'll hold its shape. Unlike your last relationship.

Is the print going to crack or fade?
It's DTG printed, which means the design holds up through regular washing without cracking or fading.

What colors does this come in?
Black or white. Pick whichever matches your current emotional state.

Can I wear this in public?
Legally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever crowd you're walking into.