Spitters Are Quitters Tee

The Spitters Are Quitters tee from Unethical Threads is three words that have never once needed explaining. A funny adult humor shirt for the person who heard this line in middle school and decided it was the funniest thing ever said. They were right. They still are.

Who actually wears this?

The person at the bachelor party who peaked as the funny friend in 2007 and refuses to acknowledge a decline. The guy at the bar who says this out loud, waits for the groan, and genuinely considers it a win.

This is a party shirt, a festival shirt, a "nobody dared me to wear this, I just wanted to" shirt. It is the rudest innuendo tee that technically says nothing rude at all. It works best on the person who delivers it with the confidence of someone who thinks they coined the phrase. They did not. Nobody did. It emerged fully formed from the primordial soup of locker room humor and it will outlive us all.

• Heavyweight cotton that holds up better than this joke deserves
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (commitment to this bit comes in all sizes)
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed for color that lasts, even if your dignity doesn't
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gag gift?

It is the perfect gag gift. Bachelor parties, birthdays, White Elephant, "I saw this and thought of you" moments (which says more about you than them, honestly).

The Spitters Are Quitters tee has been getting the exact same reaction since the first time someone put these words on a rude t shirt, and that reaction has never once been neutral. Your friend already knows what it means. Everyone already knows what it means. That is the entire point.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the Spitters Are Quitters shirt offensive?

It is three common English words on a shirt. If someone finds it offensive, that says more about what is happening in their head than what is on the fabric. But yes, your mom will have thoughts.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.

Is this a good bachelor party shirt?

It was practically designed for bachelor parties, bar crawls, and anywhere the dress code is "plausible deniability." Top-tier gag gift energy.

Will the print fade or crack?

DTG (direct-to-garment) printing keeps the color locked in. You will get tired of this joke before the print gives out. Actually, no you won't.

What colors does it come in?

Black or white. Pick the one that matches your level of commitment.