Still No Ho's

Still No Ho's is an Unethical Threads original for everyone who made it through another holiday season flying solo. Santa brought you nothing useful. Again. This heavyweight cotton tee says what your dating app profile won't.

Who's actually wearing this?

Anyone who can laugh at their own love life, or total lack of one.

This is the shirt you throw on for ugly sweater parties, family dinners where your aunt won't stop asking why you're still single, or just a random Tuesday when you want to feel seen. It pairs well with self-deprecating humor and a drink in hand.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper promo tee
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (room for holiday cookies, no judgment)
• Crew neck, because you're keeping it classic
• DTG printed for color that survives the wash cycle your dating life couldn't
• Soft enough to sleep in when you're, you know, sleeping alone

Is this actually a good gift?

It might be the best gift you give this year.

Still No Ho's says "I see you, I respect the struggle, and I think it's hilarious." Perfect for Secret Santa, white elephant, or that friend who posts sad memes every December. They'll either laugh or cry, and honestly both reactions are correct.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the Still No Ho's shirt shrink?

It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Your love life might shrink, but the shirt won't.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it works for everyone who needs to publicly acknowledge their situation.

Is this a Christmas shirt or can I wear it year-round?

Technically it's Christmas-adjacent, but loneliness is a four-season sport. Wear it whenever.

Will this shirt offend people?

Probably. That's kind of the point. If someone gets upset about a pun on Santa's catchphrase, that says more about them.