The Blood In Your Boner Has Been In Your Heart And That's Beautiful Tee

The Blood In Your Boner Has Been In Your Heart And That's Beautiful Tee is Unethical Threads at peak form: scientifically accurate, emotionally devastating, and completely inappropriate for family dinner. It's a love poem for people who think Hallmark cards are cowardly.

Who actually wears this?

People who understand that romance and anatomy aren't mutually exclusive.

Your partner who sends you anatomy diagrams instead of love letters. The friend who gives the best wedding toast anyone's ever heard and also the most uncomfortable one. If you've ever said something genuinely sweet and then immediately followed it with a biological footnote, this shirt was made for you.

• Heavyweight cotton that can survive your questionable life choices
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck (because some things should stay traditional)
• DTG printed for color that outlasts most relationships
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

It's the most honest romantic gift you'll ever give.

Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or a random Tuesday when you want to remind someone that your cardiovascular system is pulling double duty. The kind of gift that makes someone laugh, then think, then stare at you for a long time. Pair it with a straight face for maximum impact.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the boner-blood-heart thing actually true?

Yes. Blood circulates through your heart and sometimes ends up exactly where the shirt says it does. Science doesn't care about your comfort level.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit.

Will this shrink in the wash?

It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and you're good.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

Everything on it is medically accurate. Whether that makes it appropriate is between you and whatever situation you've walked into.