Therapy Is Expensive Sarcasm Is Free Tee

The Therapy Is Expensive Sarcasm Is Free Tee from Unethical Threads is a cost-benefit analysis you can wear. Four lines of text, zero graphic, one uncomfortable truth about what it costs to talk to someone about your feelings. The punchline costs nothing, requires no substances, and is available immediately with no appointment.

Who actually wears this?

People who've seen the per-session rate and decided their personality is fine, actually.

This shirt is for the person who uses humor as a load-bearing wall. The one who deflects every sincere question with a joke and considers it a personality feature, not a flaw. You know what an hour with a licensed professional costs. You also know that sarcasm is free, requires no copay, and doesn't need a referral.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle the weight of your unprocessed feelings
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're deflecting emotions, not showing chest
• DTG printed so the lettering stays sharp through years of emotional avoidance
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

It's one of the safest funny shirts you can buy, and it still lands.

No substances, no profanity, nothing your mom would need explained. Just a clean, dry observation about the cost of mental healthcare and the free coping mechanism everyone's been using since middle school. Works for the coworker who deflects everything, the friend who opens every sentence with "my therapist says," or anyone who's ever done the math on what their deductible actually covers.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt anti-therapy?
No. It's anti-price. The joke is about what therapy costs, not whether it works. Go to therapy. Also, buy this shirt.

Is this medical advice?
It's a t-shirt, not a prescription. Nothing on this site is medical advice. Please continue seeing your therapist.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Does the print crack or fade?
The design is DTG printed (direct to garment), so the ink is in the fabric, not sitting on top of it. Follow the care label and it holds up.

Is this shirt offensive?
It's a joke about healthcare costs and being sarcastic. If that offends someone, they might be the person you're being sarcastic at.