There Will Be A Missing Planet After I Destroy Uranus Tee

The There Will Be A Missing Planet After I Destroy Uranus Tee from Unethical Threads documents one raccoon's unauthorized solo mission to detonate a planet. The explosion is enormous, the raccoon is unbothered, and the shirt comes in black or white.

Who wears a planetary destruction shirt?

People who read the title, laughed, and didn't need it explained.

The design stacks arched block lettering over a pale blue-green Uranus mid-detonation, with a helmeted raccoon astronaut tumbling away from the blast looking entirely too satisfied with itself. It's deadpan space-mission energy. The kind of shirt that says you paid attention in astronomy class but took away the wrong lesson entirely.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not tissue-paper thin
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL (the raccoon would wear a Medium)
• Crew neck, because V-necks have no place on a mission of this magnitude
• DTG print (direct-to-garment) for color that doesn't crack, peel, or fade into irrelevance
• Available in black or white

Does this work as a gift?

Absolutely, for anyone whose sense of humor peaked in middle school and never apologized for it.

It's a strong move for birthdays, white elephants, or "I saw this and thought of you" moments (which, depending on who you are, could be the greatest compliment or a genuine insult). If the recipient laughs at the title without needing a beat, they're the right person.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

Unisex S through 4XL with a relaxed fit.

Will the print crack or peel?

No. It's a DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the ink bonds directly into the fabric. Color stays put.

What colors is this available in?

Black or white.

Is this appropriate for work?

It's technically a shirt about space. Beyond that, consult your HR department.