They Only Want My Wiener If I Got Bread Tee

The They Only Want My Wiener If I Got Bread Tee from Unethical Threads puts your worst dating observation on heavyweight cotton. Wry, a little bitter, and accurate enough to sting. Available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who've watched someone lose interest the second the wallet closed. So, most of the adult population.

This shirt hits different if you've ever bought dinner for someone who ghosted you before the check cleared. It's not angry, it's just observant. The kind of thing you throw on when you're over it but still a little salty.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually survives a dryer.
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room for everyone and their emotional baggage.
• Crew neck. No surprises there.
• DTG printed, so the colors stick around longer than your last situationship.
• Available in black or white. Commitment to one color is also hard, apparently.

Is This a Good Gift?

One of the best, honestly.

It's perfect for the friend who's been complaining about dating apps since 2019. Works for birthdays, breakups, or just a random Tuesday when someone needs to feel seen. Fair warning: the recipient will wear it constantly and quote it at every barbecue.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Is the print going to crack or fade?

Nope. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through regular washing.

What colors does this come in?

Black or white. Both look great, but we're not going to tell you which one to pick.

Will this shirt offend people?

Probably. That's kind of the point. If someone gets upset about a hot dog joke, that's a them problem.

Is this shirt true to size?

It's a relaxed, unisex fit. If you like it fitted, size down. If you like it roomy, go true to size.