Tylenol Powered Fuck Machine Tee

The Tylenol Powered Fuck Machine tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it says on the tin. Acetaminophen-fueled degeneracy, now available in cotton. You already know if this is your shirt.

Who actually wears this?

People who take four Tylenol before noon and still have plans after dark. Night shift workers, chronic pain warriors, anyone whose medicine cabinet does more heavy lifting than their gym membership. If your coping mechanisms have coping mechanisms, welcome home.

• Heavyweight cotton that can survive your lifestyle and your questionable laundry schedule
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Every body type that's ever made a regrettable choice is covered.
• Classic crew neck. The shirt does enough talking on its own.
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print locks the colors in. No cracking, no peeling, no fading into a sad blur.
• Machine washable. We both know you're not hand-washing anything.

Does this actually make a good gift?

Absolutely. If someone in your life runs on painkillers and poor decisions, this is their uniform. Birthday, White Elephant, "sorry about what I said at Thanksgiving," whatever works. Just make sure the recipient has a sense of humor. Or don't. We're not your parents.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually soft?

Yes. It's heavyweight cotton, but it breaks in nicely. Comfortable, not cardboard.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?

No. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in for the long haul. No cracking, no peeling.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

Legally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever establishment you walk into.

How should I wash this?

Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Turn it inside out if you want to be fancy about it.