Using My Grabby Shark To Lunge For An Officer's Weapon Tee

The Using My Grabby Shark To Lunge For An Officer's Weapon Tee from Unethical Threads pairs a children's toy grabber with a phrase that does a lot of heavy lifting in police reports. Heavyweight cotton. Front print. You already know if this is for you.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who read the news and cope with absurdity by leaning all the way into it. The kind of person who sends "lmao" to group chats about things that are not, technically, funny.

If you've ever had a take so dark your friends paused before laughing, this shirt was always going to find you. It sits at the intersection of toy aisle and police report, which is a neighborhood most brands won't even drive through.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go translucent the second you put it on
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (yes, we thought of your uncle)
• Crew neck, because we're not animals
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print for color that survives your laundry habits
• Front print only. The back is for your chiropractor to judge, not us.

Is This Going to Get Me in Trouble?

Maybe. That's sort of the point.

A toy shark on a stick is about the least threatening object on earth, and yet here we are, putting it on a shirt next to loaded language. If someone asks what your shirt means, you'll learn exactly where they stand on reading comprehension. Think of it as a social filter you can throw in the wash.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a grabby shark?

It's a novelty toy grabber shaped like a shark on a stick. You squeeze the handle and the mouth clamps shut to pick things up. Extremely dangerous in the wrong hands (it is not).

Is this shirt offensive?

That depends entirely on who's reading it. The shirt features a toy. If a toy grabber offends you, that says more about you than it does about us.

What sizes does the grabby shark tee come in?

S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, and 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so size down if you like it snug.

How should I wash this shirt?

Inside out, cold water, tumble dry low. The DTG print holds up, but treating it like a delicate artifact wouldn't hurt.

What colors does this come in?

Black and white. Both work.