Vapes Are Training You To Suck Robot Dick Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Vapes Are Training You To Suck Robot Dick tee is an absurdist anti-vaping conspiracy printed across the back of a blank-front shirt from Unethical Threads. Someone connected dots that do not exist, wrote them on a shirt, and now it's your problem. Four lines of all-caps text, delivered to whoever's walking behind you.

Who actually wears this?

People who think vape culture is funny, people who think conspiracy theories are funny, and people who live at the exact intersection of both. It's the shirt equivalent of a 3am forum post that somehow has 40,000 upvotes.

If your group chat has ever devolved into fake conspiracy theories about mundane things, you're the target audience. Vape shop regulars who can laugh at themselves, the guy who brings the weird energy to every hangout, anyone whose sense of humor peaked in absurdist and never came down.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a promotional giveaway
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL, because manifestos come in all sizes
• Crew neck, blank front (you look completely normal until you turn around)
• DTG printed for color that survives the wash cycle and the discourse
• Back print only: four stacked lines of all-caps text. No front graphic. Just plausible deniability.

Is this a good gift?

It's the gift you give when a birthday card isn't enough and a restraining order is too much.

If someone in your life vapes and has a sense of humor about it (or doesn't vape and has opinions about people who do), this shirt lands. It also works for white elephant exchanges, bachelor parties, or any occasion where the dress code is "make it weird."

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the text on the front or the back?

All text is on the back. The front is completely blank. You look like a normal, well-adjusted person until you walk away.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit.

Will this shirt offend people?

Almost certainly. The people who get it will love it. The people who don't will have questions you're not equipped to answer.

Is this an anti-vaping shirt?

It's not a PSA. It's a conspiracy theory about vapes and robots. Draw your own conclusions.

How's the print quality?

DTG printed directly into the fabric. The text won't crack, peel, or fade out like your credibility at a vape convention.