Vapes Are Training You To Suck Robot Dick Tee

The Vapes Are Training You To Suck Robot Dick tee from Unethical Threads puts an absurdist anti-vaping conspiracy theory on your chest in bold white all-caps. Someone connected dots that definitely do not exist, and now it's a shirt. You're welcome.

Who actually wears this?

People who looked at a vape and immediately saw what the rest of us were missing. Vape shop regulars who can take a hit and a joke. Group chat chaos agents. The friend who texts you a fully formed theory at 2am that makes you put your phone down and stare at the wall.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle the weight of this revelation
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck
• DTG print, so the text stays sharp long after you've lost the argument
• Front print: four lines of bold white all-caps doing a tremendous amount of work

Is this a good gift?

If you're buying this for someone who vapes and has a sense of humor, this is the gift. If they vape and don't have a sense of humor, it's an even better gift. The Vapes Are Training You To Suck Robot Dick tee says what greeting cards can't, and it arrives in a box instead of a text message, so it counts as effort.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the Vapes Are Training You To Suck Robot Dick shirt actually real?
It is extremely real. The shirt exists, the text is on the front, and you can buy it right now. Whether the theory itself holds up is between you and your vape.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit that works on every body type.

Will the print crack or fade?
DTG printing keeps the text sharp and the colors locked in. It's not going anywhere.

Can I wear this to work?
That depends entirely on where you work. Vape shop, yes. Law firm, probably not. Remote job, nobody will ever know.

What's the shirt made of?
Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Comfortable enough for daily wear, loud enough for special occasions.