We Dont Bite People Lies Adults Tell Kids Tee

The We Dont Bite People Lies Adults Tell Kids Tee from Unethical Threads is a front-print quote shirt that takes one of those earnest things grown-ups say and files it where it belongs: under "lies." The punchline is a single line of small text. If you get it, you get it.

Who actually wears this?

People who grew up hearing very confident rules that turned out to have asterisks. Parents who've made peace with the hypocrisy. Friend groups where the bar for acceptable gift-giving is somewhere below the floor.

If your group chat would lose it over this shirt, you're the target audience. It's the kind of tee that does well at barbecues, brewery crawls, and anywhere people appreciate a dry punchline.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. No weird vanity sizing, just a shirt that fits like a shirt.
• Crew neck. Classic, inoffensive. Unlike the shirt itself.
• DTG printed, so the design stays sharp and won't crack, peel, or ghost on you
• Front print: big quote on top, attribution line underneath. That's it. That's the shirt.

Is this actually a good gift?

Yes. This is the shirt you hand someone when a gift card feels lazy but a heartfelt present feels like too much.

If they laugh at the wrong things and own it, this lands. Birthdays, holidays, group-chat dares, the apology you're not actually sorry about. Wrap it or don't. The shirt does the talking.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the shirt actually say?
The front print reads "WE DON'T BITE PEOPLE!" in bold white text, with "- LIES ADULTS TELL KIDS" underneath as a small attribution line.

Is the print quality good?
DTG (direct-to-garment) printed on heavyweight cotton. The design won't crack, peel, or fade into a ghost of itself after a few washes.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. No vanity sizing, no odd cuts. It fits like a normal shirt.

Will this offend someone?
Possibly. Most people read it, pause, and then laugh. If someone gets upset about a quote tee, that's a them problem.