What Does The CDC Recommend I Do With All This Ass Tee (BACKPRINT)

The What Does The CDC Recommend I Do With All This Ass tee from Unethical Threads is a backprint public-health parody for anyone whose best asset deserves federal attention. Printed on the back where it belongs, this heavyweight cotton tee lets your exit do the talking.

Who's Actually Wearing This?

People who assessed the situation in the mirror and decided the public needed to be informed. This backprint hits different walking away from someone. Which, let's be honest, is half the point.

You'll see it at the gym, at the bar, at Target on a Tuesday. Anywhere someone with supreme confidence and a great exit wants to make a quiet (but visible) announcement.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes (you're welcome)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL, because great asses come in every size
• Classic crew neck for when you want the front to remain professional
• DTG printed for color that actually sticks around
• Available in black or white

Is This a Good Gift?

Yes. If you know someone with the assets and the attitude, this is the move.

This is the shirt you buy for the friend who already knows what they're working with. If they don't immediately laugh, the gift was never meant for them. No gift receipt needed because the right person will never return it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the design on the front or back of the shirt?
The design is printed on the back. The front is blank, keeping things professional from the front and unhinged from behind.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.

Will this shrink in the wash?
It's heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds up just fine.

Is this appropriate for work?
That depends entirely on where you work and how much your boss likes you.

What colors is this available in?
Black or white. Pick your fighter.