Why Would You Stress Out When I Could Just Eat You Out Tee

The Why Would You Stress Out When I Could Just Eat You Out tee from Unethical Threads is a deadpan proposal disguised as a graphic tee. Available in black or white, it turns stress management into a punchline your partner already agrees with.

Who actually wears this?

Couples. The confident kind who roast each other in public and mean every word.

This shirt lands when you're the person in the relationship who handles problems with enthusiasm and very little subtlety. It's flirty, it's direct, and it works best on someone who can back it up.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL (yes, your gym-bro boyfriend can wear it too)
• Crew neck, because V-necks are trying too hard for this energy
• DTG printed so the text stays sharp long after the joke stops being funny to your mother
• Available in black or white

Is this actually a good gift?

Absolutely. This is the Valentine's gift, anniversary gift, or random Tuesday gift for the person who handles your stress in their own special way.

Skip the chocolate. Skip the flowers. Hand them a shirt that says what you've been thinking, and watch them wear it to brunch.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will this shirt shrink?

Minimal shrinkage if you follow the care label. Wash cold, tumble dry low.

Is the print going to crack or peel?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric, so it won't crack, peel, or fade out on you.

Can I wear this in public?

Legally, yes. Whether your coworkers or in-laws appreciate it is between you and your life choices.

Is this a good couples gift?

It's a great couples gift. Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or just because you're feeling generous. They'll get the message.